Interact Positively With Your Spouse for a Happy Marriage….

Newly married couples are so easy to spot: their eyes gleam with love, their faces radiate happiness and they wear the most genuine smiles. The initial phase of being married is perhaps the best time of a relationship, when both partners are brimmed with passion and love for one another. They put their best foot forward to make the other happy and to incite more loving feelings from them.

But as their relationship ages, the passion fades and makes way for comfort and convenience. These qualities are not exactly undesirable. But couples who exhibit these qualities tend to behave in a manner that causes negative interactions among them. When a couple is married for too long, they stop doing things to please one another and they may also become insensitive over a period of time. Consequently, their relationships become more tensed and bitter and they engage in more arguments.

Arguments take its toll on relationships

Although arguments are not essentially unhealthy but frequent arguments, bickering and constant fights causes couples to become unhappy. When couples frequently engage in negative interactions, they begin to foster feelings of anger, resentment and irritation towards the other partner. Couples, who have 8 negative interactions out of 10, are said to head for divorce.

Staying happily married

For couples to stay married, they have to have more positive interactions than negative. But staying married is different from being happily married. Sure, having more positive interactions can be enough to prevent a marriage from falling apart. But, is it enough for the couple to be happy? The answer is no. There actually exists a formula which can keep a married couple happy.

If a married couple has 10 positive interactions out of 12, it is safe to say that both partners are happy with each other and in the relationship.

How to have more positive interactions

Conversations do not always go as planned. But there are certainly a lot of things married couples can do to build a foundation for future positive interactions.

If you have been married for a long time and want to diminish your arguments, here’s what you should do:

Appreciate your partner For whatever he/she does for you. Be grateful for their efforts and time spent to make you feel good.

Do something to make your partner feel good. Cook for him/her, take him/her on a drive or movie etc.

Take time out for your partner and have meaningful conversations. This will help you regain emotional with them.

Encourage your partner for the things they like to do or are good at. Become your partner’s support system, celebrate their achievements and console them through bad times.

Communicate effectively If you have a problem then tell that to your partner in a clear and polite fashion. Do not accuse or yell and always, always watch your tone.

Do not demean or disrespect your partner during an argument. Do not resort to calling names or insulting your partner even if he/she is as at fault.

Compliment your partner This can really boost your partner’s confidence and make him/her feel really good about you and your relationship.If you do these things, you will really witness a stark difference in your marriage. You will not only have frequent positive interactions but you might also rediscover the lost passion in your relationship.

Intimatematrimony is India’s pioneering online matrimonial service provider, offering best matchmaking services. With ample database of thousands of prospective brides’ and grooms’ matrimony profiles, we assist you to meet with potential life partners and build lifetime relationships.
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10 Modern Myths About Wedding…

1. If I marry the “right person” we’ll always feel in love.

Our culture has fed us the myth that we all have a perfect “soulmate” out there and if we find him/her, our passionate feelings will never fade, our disagreements will be rare or nonexistent, we’ll both want to make love with each other constantly and every day in marriage will have fairy tale bliss. When we wake up one morning and don’t have those feelings, we start to assume we must have married the wrong person and need to get out and find our real “soulmate.” The truth is that strong marriages are built on commitment not compatibility. For more on this, check out my post on overcoming “incompatibility” in marriage.

2. If my spouse really loves me, he/she will be willing to change.
Some of the most frustrated people on earth are the ones who are in a marriage where they’re trying to “change” their spouse—or they’re in a marriage where their spouse is trying to change them! It’s exhausting and unnatural. It reduces the marriage to manipulation instead of love. Yes, both spouses will certainly have to make selfless adjustments for the marriage to thrive—but neither should do it at the expense of losing his or her identity in the process. Love brings out the best in us, but doesn’t change who we are. Remember, it’s never your job to “fix” or to “change” your spouse. It’s your job to love you spouse. Love is what truly changes us all.

3. My friends know me, so they are the best place to get marriage advice.
Nearly everyone in your life is going to offer you advice and share their opinions with you. We trust our friends, so we naturally assume their marriage advice is going to be solid, but the best advice is usually going to come from outside your peer group because your peers are dealing with the same stuff you’re dealing with. You need a mentor; not just a friend. You need to find advice and wisdom from someone is ahead of you and probably older than you. Find someone with the kind of marriage you hope to have twenty years from now and ask them for advice.

4. I still have a right to privacy (I don’t have to tell my husband/wife everything).
This one always tends to offend people, but it’s vital to a healthy marriage. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy and if you want a healthy marriage, you have to have total transparency and trust. This means don’t keep secrets, hidden passwords, hidden money, hidden conversations or anything else your spouse doesn’t have full access to. The healthiest couples value transparency over privacy. They place their responsibility to their spouse ahead of their rights to privacy.

5. My parents raised me, so my loyalty to them should be stronger than my loyalty to my spouse.
We should always honor our parents, but when we do it at the expense of our marriage, we’ve created a toxic and dysfunctional dynamic. Your first loyalty must always be to your spouse. Practically speaking, this means you shouldn’t talk disrespectfully about your spouse and you shouldn’t allow anyone in your family to talk disrespectfully about him/her either. For more on healthy relationships and healthy boundaries,

6. I should not have to tell my spouse what’s wrong, if he/she was paying attention, they would know.
One of the most common miscommunication traps in marriage happens with these unspoken assumptions. We think our nonverbal hints should be more than enough to get the message across—or we think the answer is so obvious that we shouldn’t have to say it out loud. When we fall into this trap, one spouse stays clueless and the other spouse stays frustrated. We need to communicate with consistency, clarity and transparency.

7. If I’m not sexually fulfilled in my marriage, as long as I don’t have an affair, I should be able to do anything I want to get my needs met.
Modern couples have adopted the destructive habit of “outsourcing” the sexual fulfillment in their marriage to outside sources like pornography or romance novels. In an attempt to enhance their own sexual gratification, they’re actually sabotaging the sexual intimacy of their marriage. When you replace your spouse with another person (virtually or physically), then you’re pursuing pleasure at the expense of your marriage. All your sexual energies, fantasies and desires should be focused on your spouse. Monogamy should be both physical and mental. It might sound impossible, but it’s not.

8. Every couple is unique, so there’s not a single “right way” to have a good marriage.
This one is partially true, but it’s often the “almost true” things that prove to be more deceptive than obvious lies. Every couple is unique and there’s no cookie-cutter approach to marriage, but there are some timeless and universally-applicable principles that provide a compass to keep a marriage on course. To disregard these principles and write our own rules for love and marriage will lead to disaster.

9. Our kids, need us so they should always come before our marriage.
If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’d be willing to give your life for your kids. Parenthood takes that kind of selfless concern for our kids, but I’ve seen too many couples be “marriage martyrs” by sacrificing their marriage on the altar of parenthood. The parents wrongly assume that total devotion to the kids requires putting the marriage on autopilot. Those parents wake up one day to realize they have an “empty nest” and an empty marriage! One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the security that comes from seeing their parents in a loving, committed marriage. Have the kind of marriage that makes you kids actually want to get married someday!
10. If things aren’t working out in my marriage, I would probably be better off with someone else.
When you face struggles, don’t look for an exit strategy. Don’t fantasize about a life with someone else. Work through your challenges together and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

Intimatematrimony is India’s pioneering online matrimonial service provider, offering best matchmaking services. With ample database of thousands of prospective brides’ and grooms’ matrimony profiles, we assist you to meet with potential life partners and build lifetime relationships.

Kerala is the motherland of people belonging to varied religions, castes and communities. In fact, the Hindu Religions belong to different cultures.Kerala weddings are celebrated with the same fervor everywhere, though their way of conduct is different. Today Online Matrimony play major role Kerala wedding .Intimatematrimony is the best online matrimony in Kerala caste matrimony…

10 Things To Do For Wedding Planner……..

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Most of us dream about the perfect wedding and the key to the perfect wedding is an amazing wedding planner. In order to make things easier for you, we have listed down a few things one should keep in mind while choosing a wedding planner.
What you are really looking for is if they have experience with the various aspects that you want. For e.g.- Have they done a wedding with a similar venue? Have they previously done the things you want in your wedding? Have they done a wedding as big or as small as yours?
If they have done a wedding at the same venue, it’s bonus points 🙂
You would probably want to figure out if they will be up to the level of attentiveness that you expect.
How many meetings will you have? What will they handle and what do you have to handle? Will they be present on your wedding day or another member of their team?
This will give you an idea of the help you want to receive and what this wedding planner will offer.
Get to the bottom of where all your vendors will come from with this planner.
Do you find them or does your wedding planning have some alliances? Do they get any special discounts?
This will help you to determine the right vendor for the job. Make sure you get the best vendors you want and not just the ones they recommend. A good follow up question would be “Can we pick a vendor you have not worked with before?”
If you are selecting a package or signing a contract you will want to see where all the money is going. Ask for a line-item breakdown of expenses. This way you can see if they want to hire an expensive vendor. This gives you a better way to negotiate on prices.
People will come from various places for your wedding. Your wedding planner should help you make a plan on how to handle parking, shuttles, hotels, etc…
This will especially be helpful if you are having your wedding in India and inviting foreign guests. They often need help learning Indian wedding traditions and getting to and from events. They may also need other special considerations.
You will always need backup plans. A good planner will help you make bulletproof plans for you. If you are having an outdoor wedding you will need an indoor alternative in case of bad weather.
You will also need a wedding planner backup plan. Ask your planner what happens if they can not make it on the day of your wedding due to an emergency.
Most planners have their portfolio online now. In case they don’t you will want to ask to see their work.
Make sure it’s what you are looking for in your own wedding. See for yourself if this planner has put on high quality weddings in the past. You don’t want to be surprised.
Some wedding planners do only that. Plan. But if you need them to design the wedding and plan it you will want to ask that up front. Usually, the better wedding planners do both design and coordinate the whole wedding.
If you have an idea of how you want your wedding designed ask them what they think. See if they have ideas on how to execute. If they offer nothing you might want to look somewhere else. You want somebody who will be helpful.
 
You will be spending a lot of time with your planner and taking their advice. If you like them and trust them it will make everything easier.
In conclusion, talk about these things with your wedding planner early. It will be a good start on a path to one of the best days of your life.
Kerala is the motherland of people belonging to varied religions, castes and communities. In fact, the Hindu Religions belong to different cultures.Kerala weddings are celebrated with the same fervor everywhere, though their way of conduct is different. Today Online Matrimony play major role Kerala wedding .Intimatematrimony is the best online matrimony in Kerala caste matrimony
More Visit :www.intimatematrimony.com

Arranged Marriages in India….

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Arranged marriages have always been a debatable subject. It is in the major outlook on relationships that Indians are vastly different, in the way they perceive the institution of marriage, to those beliefs of other countries especially in the west.

Many people have a pretty major misunderstanding of the topic of arranged marriages and in fact have a fairly negative attitude regarding arranged marriages. The best way to understand the reasoning behind such cultures is to put aside your own beliefs, opinions, and preconceived ideas in order to see more clearly before dismissing it as wrong. While it may not be for all and love marriages in India are not unheard of or a rare sighting by any means…arranged marriages aren’t necessarily a bad thing either!

The Acceptance of Arranged Marriages in India

Although most westerners cannot fathom marrying someone they do not love, it is incredibly interesting to note that arranged marriages is not something which is fought against, or a source of protest among the young of India.

The truth, surprisingly, is the exact opposite, many of the youth in India prefer arranged marriages, as it gives them the time and the ability to enjoy their youth without the constant worry and struggle of relationships that comes about in western culture.

The west generally believe that one needs to have live-in relationship or a long courtship before they can get married to know whether they are sexually as well as generally compatible or not. The fact that an arranged marriage is actually preferred in many cases in India, and may even indeed be a healthy and happier form of love than the marriages experienced in the west comes as somewhat of a shock or at least a surprise to most.

Feelings Vs Commitment

Many Indians look at marrying a person they don’t know, gives one “a lifetime to learn to love them”, as opposed to the American ideal of learning a person inside and out before entering into marriage. It can be said that an arranged marriage in India is not based on feelings, but rather on commitment.

An Indian woman described it as “Here, we get married without having feelings for the person. We base our marriage on commitment, not on feelings. As our marriage progresses, the feelings develop. In America, you base your decision to marry on feelings, but what happens when the feelings wane? You have nothing left to keep the marriage together if you get married according to feelings and then the feelings go away.”

Arranged Marriages are Not Forced Marriages

When people think of arranged marriages, they often picture a boy or girl forced into a relationship in which they have absolutely no choice. However, in reality, this is simply not the case, before the marriage becomes official the potential bride and groom have the opportunity to meet each other and decide whether or not a relationship is something that they would wish to pursue. It’s not like the couple see each other on the wedding day for the first time or just once before the wedding. Once approved they meet and get engaged.

There is usually a period of months or even a year or more after the couple are engaged and before the wedding, where the couple get to know each other, meet, talk and discuss the future. This time after the engagement to the wedding day is sort of the dating period for the couple.

Marriages are a Family Affair

A daughter is said to marry into a family in India. Marriage is not perceived as a relationship between two people but as a relationship between families and especially between the girl and her husband’s family. This is mainly due to the fact that many Indians live in joint families where the wives enter into and live with the husbands family. So a family with several sons will have their wives and children all living together in the same house.

What makes this system work in India is a great deal of trust in the choices of one’s parents. It’s the confidence that parents not only love their daughter and have her best interest at heart, but that they also have more wisdom and can make a better decision for her in the area of marriage.

Today in India Online Matrimony website mainly give service to find Bride and Groom  in arranged marriage.Intimate matrimony is the best online matrimony in Krerala for best perfectly Matched Bride and groom.

Best Tips for Monsoon Wedding to Make it a Perfect Affair…

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A wedding in monsoon sounds really interesting and exciting. All girls and boys have so many dreams in their heart about their wedding. You want to look stunning on that day to capture the eyeballs of everyone. You want everything to be perfect on that day. Monsoon is the most romantic and beautiful weather, but a little rain during your function can spoil the mood of whole affair. But, it is not really difficult to turn the story on your side and make a perfect plan for your Monsoon Wedding! Here are some important tips for all those bride and grooms to make their special day memorable for all.
Choose the venue smartly:
It is the most important thing while planning a wedding in monsoon to choose the right venue. You should always select the venue very smartly and wisely. A small mistake can spoil the fun of wedding. Go for a venue where you will have both indoor and outdoor arrangements. So, you can enjoy the weather without spoiling the fun of your wedding ceremonies.
Negotiate well with vendors for venue and other services:
In India, most of the marriages happen in the later months of year. During the monsoon season as most of the 5 start hotels don’t have any booking, so you can bargain well with them to get slashed price and save on hotel booking
 
Theme of venue: 
While selecting the theme don’t just go by the colors or props. Also, pay attention to the kind of things vendor is going to use for venue. You can ask him to go for light colors or rainbow colors to make it more vibrant. You can also go for full flower theme as during this time florists slash the price of flowers. You can also arrange some rain dance party or pool party for pre-wedding function. You can also use umbrella for decoration and also give as gift to guests. So, decide a theme that you feel goes well will your wedding plan.
What will be the menu? 
As this is monsoon season and a little carelessness can make people remember your wedding for all  wrong reasons. Take care of hygiene and what you are going to serve to the guests. Don’t go for too much spicy food rather serve or add items in your menu, which are easy to digest. Don’t add seafood in your menu; rather add tava items in for food. You can also add jalebi instead of ice-cream in your sweets. So, while preparing a menu for your wedding pay some extra attention.
Look stunning on your special day: Indian wedding is all about heavy lehengas and jewelry for the bride and sherwani for the groom. But, if your wedding is in monsoon choose your dresses very smartly to stay comfortable.  Don’t use dark colors, select light fabric with bright colors to add spark. Brides should go for waterproof makeup and grooms should go for ethnic Kurta and Churidar or some comfortable fabric sherwani.
Intimatematrimony is India’s pioneering online matrimonial service provider, offering best matchmaking services. With ample database of thousands of prospective brides’ and grooms’ matrimony profiles, we assist you to meet with potential life partners and build lifetime relationships.

Essential Marriage secrets a Mother should share with her Daughter

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Regardless of how educated she is, a mother is the best teacher for a girl. As she has experienced a similar stage way back, she is the best one who can drop a pearl of shrewdness in your lap when you are going to begin another period of life. Here are some secrets that only a mother can share with her daughter.

  1. Love is not a thing to be Tested

Love is about friendship and necessities a sort of faith. Daughters ought to be taught that she shouldn’t perform tests on her partner’s affection. Love should be decorated with trust. Trust building can take time but daughters should keep patience and make love flow.

  1. Keep Proper Space

Initially every relation needs some space. When two people meet, they have different ethics and different needs and desires. Mothers should share their own experiences and reveal that the secret of a happy married life is walking together but with having a proper individuality. Giving time to everyone but maintaining individuality is the art of a happy married life. This can be done by carrying on with the hobbies and finding happiness in small little things

  1. Togetherness is the Secret for Happiness

Each mother should to show her girl that glow and togetherness in a family is the greatest satisfaction. In the event that it is a joint family, the life partner’s parents should be treated as own parents, daughters should make a bond with one and all. Despite the fact that, this is the most troublesome part for a newly married girl but once accepted, it proves to be a great asset for a strong relationship.

4. Adjustment – A Key for a Healthy Relationship

The top secret for a  successful life is when a girl needs to adjust but not at all on the cost of self-esteem. Being educated today, girls think that they are not made to adjust but the truth is an adjustment is another name for love and respect, but only a mother can teach their daughter about adjusting and she can share her experience and show how effective it is. Little adjustments from both the side can make your relations do wonders.

5. Forgiveness and Acceptance

To run a smooth life, wheels of Forgiveness and Acceptance have a major role. Daughters should forgive the ones who commit mistakes and learn to have a big heart. Also, if she herself makes mistakes, she should have the art of acceptance and the ethics to apologize and rectify her mistakes. These two things are magical, they can heal any wound.

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